The Missing Mom Gene

My friends’ children have outfits for every occasion – red, white, and blue jumpers for patriotic holidays; special birthday shirts with cupcakes and a big number so friends will know how old they are; Easter shirts with bunny ears; St. Patrick’s Day shirts with shamrocks; customized Christmas shirts with reindeer and snowflakes; beautiful suits and dresses for more formal occasions like church and the first day of school. The girls even have color-coordinated hair bows to adorn their ponytails for every outfit. As I was browsing through photos of these beautiful children on Facebook, seeing them all decked out in their latest holiday colors, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Am I missing yet another mom gene?”

With the exception of the personalized Easter bunny shirt that I made at one of my crafty friend’s houses, my daughter has none of this attire. Observing my five-year-old in her multicolored, sparkly spandex dance shorts coupled with a t-shirt boldly displaying a pattern of brightly hued ice cream cones (we’re going to Wal-Mart later), I also wondered… as adults, is it our tendency to do the OPPOSITE of what our own parents did for us?

My Childhood Wardrobe (And Other Festive Items)

My mom was just like my friends. Growing up, I had an outfit for every occasion. I even remember my bathing suit that looked like the American flag. I remember special first-day-of-school clothes. I remember Christmas sweaters and green jumpers and red shoes, and I was happy to wear most of it –because my mom was so excited about buying it for me. But, then… I became a teenager and realized that this clothing coordination frenzy was not cool. Even worse, this “representing every holiday” fetish carried over into the décor of our entire house.

Mom had Easter decorations, Halloween decorations, Valentine’s Day decorations, Arbor Day decorations, Ides of March décor, and the list goes on. Every holiday, I’d watch as she hauled everything out of the basement (or attic, or wherever she kept it) and decorate the house. Then a couple weeks later, she would dust everything, take it down, wrap it up in plastic and start all over again for the next season or holiday. To quote Stiffler, from the movie American Pie, “Dude! That seems like an awful lot of work!” Granted, our house always looked festive and welcoming and cozy, but I knew in my heart that aside from the major holidays – Christmas, and… um… Christmas – I didn’t want any part in the whole “decoration-wardrobe-preparation-production”. (As if my life isn’t high-maintenance enough!)

Style Aversions

As an adult, my aversion to holiday décor grew stronger. When it was time to live on my own, find my own style, I easily found it – minimalistic. And I’m not just talking about holiday decorations here. In addition to the ever-changing festive décor, my parent’s home itself was Dutch colonial. (It was literally a big, red barn, but my parents insisted it was an actual design preference.) “Dutch colonial” means our house was like something out of our country’s early colonial days. We had a faux red brick floor in the family room, a floor-to-ceiling real brick fireplace, chunky wooden furniture, even real saloon doors between our kitchen and dining room. If that’s your style, you might as well go all out, and my parents did just that. Looking back, it really was a well-designed, tastefully decorated house. It was their dream home. It just wasn’t mine.

I believe that being a graphic designer also has its influence on my décor preferences. I like clean lines. I like warm, earthy colors, or the colors of the ocean (there’s that water sign influence again). In fact, from the moment I knew I was going to give birth to a girl, I got the vision for the perfect little girl’s room – large blocks of blue, green and turquoise on the walls, white trim and black furniture! There was no way MY kid was going to become a “pink explosion” as one of my friends liked to call it. Not my kid. (I can assure you, five years later, plenty of pink has found its way into my daughter’s wardrobe and room. She even had a princess party this year where she became the complete embodiment of a pink explosion, in everything from her poufy princess dress to her princess castle cake.)

Hope for the Grandkids

That supports my theory even more though, doesn’t it? Now my own kid wants to wear pink every day and DO THE OPPOSITE of the “sans pink” environment and wardrobe I worked so hard to create for her, because I was doing the opposite of MY mother! Evidently, it’s a vicious cycle. But, this gives me hope after all. Maybe I’m NOT missing another mom gene. Maybe it’s just the circle of life between parents and kids. If that’s the case, I’ll look forward to celebrating Thanksgiving at my daughter’s Dutch colonial home, complete with ceramic turkey as the centerpiece on her 18th century dining room table. Her kids and I will have a lot in common.